The Adventures of Nic

South Africa

I've been getting messages again about the Pretoria project. And the idea has me so excited. I'd resigned myself to missing out after the fiascos of late last year but it seems all hope is not lost. Perhaps God is calling me there after all, just not on the timeframe I expected.

I miss travelling. I don't think I'm ready for the responsibilities of a home; not because I can't do it, but because taking care of a (too big for me) house plus working the hours I do leaves no time for anything else. Certainly not time for meaningful relationships with people. Yes, I have wonderful friends and family whom I see a couple times a week but that is not expanding my social circle. I'm not learning new things.

Two years ago, I was travelling to Europe every 3rd weekend. It was an exhausting lifestyle, but oh, the joys. So much to see and learn about this incredible world! And because I was so busy, I was so much more efficient at squeezing everything else in. I had horse riding on Monday nights, Alpha club on Tuesdays, Bible study group on Wednesdays, and Friday > Sunday was travel. Okay, I only had a small apartment to maintain, but how did I have those levels of energy???

(However, this was pre-illness, so perhaps that's why. Even though I'm over GF, I just haven't bounced back as much as I thought I would. Is it age? Nooooooo!)

At the moment, my 'Weekend To Do' list has things on it like: Mow lawn, organise fridge, cut plastic drawer liners, lay cement. I can't help but think all of those things belong to life with a husband and children where you can share the work of setting up a new home and see it as building something together.

Or perhaps my 'rejecting my house' mindset is because I'm still upset by the random neighbour crashing the impromptu pool party I had last night. I'm not capable of turning people away but when his language grew more and more vulgar, I wish I knew how to kick someone out.

posted by Nic @ 2:33 PM