Through a pane of glass
Do you ever feel disconnected from the world? Like... you're trying to reach out and touch it but you can't because there's that pane of glass in the way. It both protects and suffocates and sometimes, it means that no one can hear you screaming. Because maybe you don't want them to.We're all human and we have our fralities and I've been going through a very transitional time. I knew it was coming, I knew it was going to be difficult, but never considered it would be overly traumatic. But change IS traumatic. Especially when you go from being one person to another, returning to an old world, not sure just how you fit into it any more.
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Sarah Carter (remember her from the infamous SNL talk?), author of "Single Christian Female", someone I have both met and admire, is getting married. That makes me (unreasonably?) happy. She's another one of 'us', beautiful women who somehow missed the marriage-boat in their twenties, but eventually did find someone to love who actually loved her too. I think it's so much harder once your identity is formed; you don't have that chance to 'grow together in your youth'. You have to be willing to change, open to new opinions and directions, and when you've been 'someone' for quite a while and someone else comes along and tells you that you're wrong... it's tough. How do people ever compromise on that? Should they?
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I've been thinking about my sleeping habits. I average 10 hours a night at least 4 nights a week. That seems ... excessive. Think of all the other things I could be doing if I had that 8 hours back! No wonder life seems squeezed tight lately. Even though it shouldn't be, yet other than the time constraints of work, so much seems... boring. Empty. Pale.
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I went to Adelaide to visit Ellie and Jordan and it was WONDERFUL. A much needed breath of fresh air. I have missed those two and feel blessed to know them. :)
posted by Nic @ 1:51 PM
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