Friday, June 30, 2006

Overthinking

This is what happens to Nic when she's crazy-busy with work. I could tell you how, but I find it exceedingly boring to read about other people's jobs so I won't. ;)

It's just weird... the more mental energy I expend at work, the more I 'think about' my entire life as a whole and start to analyse (even more than usual) who I am and where I'm going and is there such a thing as 'happily ever after'?

Dudes, I am On Fire.

Spiritual Gifts

Every so often, I do the test to reveal my Spiritual Gifts. Some remain constant (Knowledge/Wisdom), whereas others seem to fluctuate in strength.

This time.... Missionary came up.

It makes sense for me. My entire life, many of my best friends have been from different cultures. I love connecting with a person from 'elsewhere'. It also goes hand in hand with my extreme desire to travel.

Hope City (my church in Manchester) is changing me.

I've never particularly cared about my own career: it's what I do to make enough money for a trip into space (and I just happen to be particularly good at it). Space is my calling. But perhaps People are too.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Starchaser

As always, I had an awesome weekend. Even with the crippling jet-lag (I was falling asleep ALL the time... I suspect the exhaustion was flu-related as well).

Saturday I volunteered with Starchaser, a small company that builds rockets and is paving the way for Space Tourism. I met the COOLEST PEOPLE, people who think 'crazy space things' just like me. It was awesome. As most of you know, getting into space is my life-long dream and I can finally see evidence of that starting to happen. More than that, I can be involved. They're doing a test rocket launch in August and I plan to be there. :)

Sunday morning I was a bit home-sick. I called a couple of people in Aus but there was really nothing to say (after all, I'd just been there!) Despite feeling exhausted I dragged myself to church, then the picnic with my friends, and then on to 'The Event' (kind of like a Hillsong rally) in Sheffield. The entire day was awesome, and that was because of my friends. I had one of thotse 'life changing' conversations with Justin & Justin on the way home. Such beautiful guys, those two.

And this is the important part. After the all of the emotion during my visit to Australia, I felt like I got back to 'me'. That single & confident girl who can do a thousand things on her own. So very independent.

This messes with my head.

In Brisbane my life is intertwined with people. I become less of an entity and more of a 'part of the group'. Less confident. Less audacious. Softer. Quieter. Less willing to speak my mind. This is not a good thing, people. I wanted to have those 'awesome conversations' with my friends in Brisvegas too but because I became old-Nic, I didn't know how to.

How do I fix this?!

Or am I thinking about it too much?!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Australia

How do I put into words what visiting home was like? And after that trip, I can say with certainty that it IS home. I have 2 homes and I'm a different person in each of them. Which is strange. Which 'me' is 'me'? The single, wildly successful, travelling Manchester girl, or the Sister/Daughter/Friend who knows the most amazing people in Brisbane and is so lucky to be so loved?


I think I need to be someone in the middle of those two but am not yet sure how to merge them.


I was greeted at the airport with the biggest purple banner I have EVER seen and a crowd of people, thanks (of course) to Kerryn. It was amazing and meant so much to me. As did the parties throughout the week. So wonderful to see so many friends and family, yet with the masses of people, there were a few I didn't get to spend any quality 1-on-1 time with. Next time, I promise!


Ellie & Porky's wedding was BEAUTIFUL. They were both glowing with happiness. As is typical with weddings, I didn't get to spend that much time chatting with either of them (although I did get to the next Sunday at SNL!) but just being there, part of the day, was so very special. I love these two so much and they're such an inspiration to me. I feel blessed to know them.


I also feel blessed to know my sisters. Mum took a lot of photos of the 4 of us, all dressed up for the wedding, and we look beautiful. And we're each so individual as well. To my surprise, I'm the thinnest sister again. For someone who's constantly had issues with her weight ... it's strange to see photographic evidence when I've always thought of myself as 'too big'. I don't think anyone has sisters like I do, or the relationships that we do. Best friends. I miss them so much at times.


Three nights I tried to use BJ's spa but it only finally happened after the 'family BBQ', which was also an amazing day. Volleyball and cricket in the back yard. These seemingly simple things that are so special when you haven't experienced them in over a year.


I got to go to TFN (Thursday Fun Night) - a Rochedale Institution - and these guys, while not necessarily related by blood, are also my family. I missed Danny, though, because he's part of that group (in my mind) yet now lost in Germany. We watched his birthday DVD and laughed way too hard. Poor Tuna!!!


I spent more time chatting to Mum than I think I ever have before. Our relationship is evolving and I'm becoming more comfortable with its new form. It's good. :)


With Christian, I played 'tourist on the Gold Coast' & we went up the (new to me) Q1 tower. That was very cool and I had flashbacks to the other tall buildings I've been up around the world. (Malaysia, New York, Chicago, Paris... the list goes on.) Such a fabulous, fun night, including dinner at a Turkish Restaurant and Gold Coast nightlife, even if I did have to abandon my car on account of drinking a little too much.

And then camping at Mount Barney with most of the people I love best in the world. THAT was awesome. Real air, real stars, real dirt. The sort of thing you don't see in Europe at all and it didn't matter that it was the middle of winter. And running around crazily playing 'spotlight', or 'YMCA' in the middle of the road...who says I have to grow up?

It was Sunday night and I was sad, having just said goodbye to C and realising that I faced even more goodbyes that night. That, of course, is when Greg & Cass unleashed their surprise...they're engaged!!! And getting married in November!

It was actually great that this all happened just as I was leaving, because the sadness of my returning to the UK was overtaken by the excitement of planning a wedding.

Which of course means I will return to Oz later this year. And I'm happy about that. Really happy. I want to spend more time with my family/friends there because I have been away too long. I'm not saying that I'm going back to stay (although it's a possibility), but one of my reasons for the trip home was reconnaissance. And the recon mission told me that yes, family IS important. More than I thought. I'm so happy to have realised that.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Tonight's To-Do List

'Pack for Australia'.

ARGH!!!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Everything I Always Wanted to Do

That's what my life in the UK is: Dream Fulfillment. One could argue it's a selfish way of living, the other part of me sees the UK as the most amazing opportunity I've been given and I'm going to squeeze every moment out of it.

This weekend was my weekend 'off' from travelling.

I spent Saturday at the 'Fabulous' conference (http://www.fabulousconference.com) - which was truly incredible. An amazing demonstration of the Power of God and it reminded me that there is so much we don't know. The church I grew up in wasn't much for 'supernatural demonstrations' but the things I saw on Saturday show there is a whole other stream out there. It's difficult to explain in words: it's one of those things that you have to be there to see and feel.

I am a scientist but I believe in the supernatural and part of the fun in life is getting those two to work together. (In my head, that is. ) I know I'll never understand it all.

Sunday I got up early and headed out to Blackpool (yet again). It's not the nicest of places but it has an amazing amusement park. Donna & her family & I spent most of the day riding rollercoasters by the beach and they were AWESOME!!! The best rollercoasters I've ever been on! My neck hurts a lot today though.....

At the end of the day, we saw Bon Jovi live in concert. At age 14 I was completely in love with Jon Bon Jovi and would have given almost anything to see him live. Now I have. And for a moment, I reverted to my 14 year old self and squealed, 'He's so cute!'

Awesome concert, though. 60 000 people. Donna & I were deaf for hours afterwards. Too much fun. :)